Taking It To The Streets: The Dorkaleur In Action

Since Steve in Peoria mentioned that he's holding his breath for a ride report on the epic (trademark Rapha) dorkaleur/World's Largest Handlebar Bag combination, I figured I'd better bang out a quick writeup before he turns blue and topples off his recumbent.

In short, the ride is surprisingly anti-climactic. In my pre-dorkaleur days, I tried the Xootr Crossrack and Arkel "big orange sack" in both a front-mounted and rear-mounted configuration without any rack support. On the rear, there was a definite "very heavy tail wagging a very small dog" effect. On the front, cornering got downright spooky. The big bag seemed to want to pull the front end over into corners, very much like overloaded and unbalanced front panniers. Of course, with no front rack under it, i had to mount the rack higher to avoid front wheel interference, and the higher center of gravity was not a good thing.

In dorkaleur configuration, the load rides a little lower and gets some support from the front rack. The result is a bike that just corners like a bike -- nothing terribly out of the ordinary. The steering may be a little heavier, but on a small-wheeled bike, the front end feels a bit light to begin with, so it all balances out. With that much bag sitting right out there in plain sight, I fully expected at least a little placebo effect, but after a week of commutes, nothing.

With all that said, I've actually de-dorkaleured the bike because, frankly, it's just SO much overkill. How much bag does one need for a 4-mile (round trip) commute, anyway? Plus, I stumbled into a great deal on a Jandd Duffel Rack Pack that's more appropriate for my commuting load. Of course, being unable to leave well enough alone, I've done some custom tweaks on that as well, but that's grist for another post.

Frickin' Laser Beams

The good news: Thanks to LEDs, bike lights are getting brighter, cheaper, lighter, longer running, and smaller every year.

The bad new: Thanks to LEDs, bike lights are getting smaller every year.

Have you noticed? With the latest crop of high-power LEDs, it seems like manufacturers have figured out that they can pack all their lumens into a tiny little "bulb" surrounded by a nickel-sized lens/reflector. It looks great from the saddle, when you're lighting up road signs from a mile away. But I'm not entirely convinced it's a great thing for a commuter sharing the road with inattentive drivers. When other riders approach me with one of these new micro-lights, it looks like they've taped laser pointers to their bars: All power, no spillover. The lumens aren't wasted from the rider's perspective, but they also aren't doing much good for anyone approaching the rider from an angle.

To defeat this problem, I've taken to mounting up my long-ago-discontinued Planet Bike 1-watt Super Spot for my commute instead of the more modern, brighter, and focused Blaze series (you can see beam comparisons in my critically-disdained "man in a dark bathroom" post). As far as I can tell, the Super Spot is an even older halogen light with its halogen bulb swapped out for an LED -- same case, same lens, same reflector. It makes a beam like the antique Schwinn-approved generator light on my grandparents' old tandem: weirdly striped, not terribly bright, but -- here's the kicker -- incredibly wide-angled. Unless you're directly behind me (and my eclipse-causing arse), you're probably gonna see it.

Note that I am not telling you, dear reader, to ride around with outdated lights. With the size of my audience, even losing one would be somewhere between a 33% to 50% reduction. I'm just telling you to choose the light that works for your riding situation. Also, once you think you have the right setup, fire it up and walk away from your bike. How does it look from the front? The side? Don't assume you're visible because the road lights up in front of you while riding. See how it looks from the other guy's perspective.

(Ulterior motive... I'm hoping that good pal, frequent commenter, and professional electron wrangler Steve from Peoria will chime in with the World's Perfect Bike Light. Of course, it will be something he made in his top secret laboratory that isn't available to mere mortals. But, Steve, if you want to write a guest post on one of your retina-searing creations, mi blog casa es su blog casa.)

Behold! The Dork-aleur!

If you have an interest in mid-20th-century French randonneuring bikes or are a regular reader of Bicycle Quarterly, you probably know that a "decaleur" is a doohickey that works in conjunction with a front rack to keep a large handlebar bag steady while still allowing it to release with (relative) ease when the bike is stopped. Currently available examples include the Berthoud Decaleur du Sac and the Velo Orange decaleur kit. When executed correctly, it's a nifty little gadget, high on elegance and functionality.

Now, when it comes to MY version, you can keep the word "functionality" (and maybe "nifty"), but pretty much throw away "elegance". I give you... the DORK-ALEUR!

My little mash-up combines a mini front rack (sold under a zillion different house brand/generic labels for maybe $15) and the Xootr Crossrack designed to hold a single standard pannier perpendicular to the bike. Pairing it with the front rack gives the load some much-needed support from below -- even when the pannier in question is a gigantic Arkel stuffed to the gills, a load that the mini rack could never hope to handle alone:

So far, I've only tested the new combo in the parking lot, but I liked it a lot. I'll load it up with my usual commuting junk this week, bang it around the quasi-urban jungle of Des Moines, and report back. If nothing else, it does put me in the running for the World's Weirdest Touring Bike competition:

Great Moments In Professional Cycling

Okay, so pro cycling isn't all bad. For example, there's this great moment from the London Olympics:

Of course, anyone who's followed Herman's storied career in the peloton knows that this photo is obviously faked, since he's a stage racer, not a track cyclist:

Somebody test that guy's B sample.