Monday, August 22, 2011

Don Pardo, Tell Him What He's Won

Congrats to loyal reader Scott of the Keystone State (or is that Keystone Commonwealth?) for completing the "Can Jason's Random Appearance As A Quasi-Extra In A Documentary Connect Him To Kevin Bacon?" quiz in record time and doing it by way of musicians in honor of the subject of the post that inspired it. Truly inspired work, my good man. Chapeau.

Of course, I didn't expect anyone to have an answer, so I had to frantically slap together this amazing prize package from the contents of my own stash:
I only had a six-month supply of Rice-a-Roni (and I'm saving that for the zombie apocalypse), so Scott will instead receive:
  • A lightly-used pair of Tektro cantilever/centerpull brake cable hangers in Grant Peterson-unapproved black, which he can use to either re-live the 90s halcyon days of boutique cable hangers or put on a set of vintage silver Mafac centerpulls to annoy Jan Heine.
  • An equally lightly used pair of Velox expanding rubber bar-end plugs, the only French component I've ever encountered that doesn't feature some bizarre non-standard dimension or reversed thread just for the sake of being contrary and annoying bike mechanics.
  • A stylish "I (Heart) Des Moines" rubber bracelet, which I totally dare him to wear until ten (yes, ten) people ask him, "Uh, dude, what the heck?"
But wait, there's more!

THE SUPER EXTRA BONUS GIFT, just for a) winning the contest with a musical entry, and b) admitting (off-blog) to being another member of the bass brotherhood: One autographed photo of yours truly, circa 1990, rockin' the bass guitar, a haircut somewhere between a Brian Bosworth flattop and a Mike Ditka mullet, what appears to be a sweater from the Fred Rogers collection, AND (look closely, you can just make it out) tight rolled jeans. Before the snark comes a'rollin' in, yes, I had a girlfriend at the time, and no, she was not from Canada.

Sorry, Scott, too late to withdraw your contest entry. This mind-blowing assortment of fabulosity is already on its way to you via the U.S. Postal Service. If that doesn't discourage people from taking me seriously when I invent these silly contests, I don't know what will.


Scott Loveless said...

Dude. Is that a Peavey?

I could use those cable hangers. Seriously. This is fun. I might have to run my own little give-away.

Jason T. Nunemaker said...

That, m'good man, is (was) an Aria Pro II "Cat" Bass, my beginner axe. Shredded many bars of Livin' on a Prayer and Sweet Child o' Mine on that baby. Also learned to loathe/distrust active pickups thanks to its tendency to a) eat 9v batteries, and b) sound like crap as a result -- so I'm just as Luddite on wheels as I am on strings.

Steve Fuller said...

Senior pictures with musical instruments? You knew how to make the ladies swoon didn't you? :)

Scott Loveless said...

After a few cheapies, my first real bass was a second hand Rickenbacker 3001. I foolishly traded it in on a Fender Jazz with Lace Sensors and active electronics, which ate 9v batteries for breakfast and came back for seconds, all while having the most boring tone of any instrument ever produced anywhere by anyone ever. Ever. Cliff Williams could have put entire stadiums to sleep with that thing.

Scott Loveless said...

You know, I wore that bracelet for at least 2 weeks and not one person asked about it. I assume they assumed it was the standard "Tryhard Wanker" wristband that all the cyclists are wearing.

Jason T. Nunemaker said...

Whaaa? You publicly proclaimed love for Des Moines (where one can buy a t-shirt with the slogan "Let Us Exceed Your Already Low Expectations") and no one even noticed?

Pennsylvanians, you disappoint me. That must be why I moved away from the glass-lined tanks of old Latrobe.