The King And I

If you're wondering where I've been hiding out, I spent last week getting all professionally developed in the Twin Cities, locked up in a hotel conference room learning about content strategy, SEO, web analytics... zzzz... huh? What? Where was I? Oh yeah, professional development. You don't think this blogging thing just happens, do you? It takes non-stop continuing education to maintain this level of drivel.

Normal people bring their kids and/or wives presents when they go all Cat's in the Cradle (Harry Chapin? Hello? Anyone? Is this thing on?), but as a) I have no children, b) my wife was with me on the trip, and c) I have never been normal, I bought my bike something pretty instead: 

If you're playing "Where's Waldo?" wondering what's new on the old green steed, it's those shiny stainless steel water bottle cages from King Cage. This falls into the category of "pseudo-placebo-upgrade" as there was absolutely nothing wrong with my existing water bottle cages. Sure, I think it's neat that they're handmade in a garage in Colorado rather than cranked out of a Chinese factory, but on pure function, this was just magpie money, shiny things for the sake of shiny things.

I'm told by those in the know that yes, the King Cage is hella-strong, and it feels light in the hand (though, c'mon, how heavy can a bottle cage be?), and it is admittedly a pretty thing, but -- like so many supposed upgrades we put on our bikes -- I seriously doubt it's going to make one bit of difference in my enjoyment of the ride. If I'm proven wrong, I'll actually review it. Otherwise, I'm standing by my defense of "it's pretty, an actual person made it, and I like it."

One thing that Mike Sinyard (of Specialized, the law firm that imports bikes on the side) could learn from the King Cage, though: Did you know there's also an American bicycle components manufacturer named Chris King? It's true! They started in the 1970s! And then this King Cage thing comes along in the '90s, yet to this day, nobody's been sued over the name! I kid you not! It's like these King guys (Chris or otherwise) have no interest in a lucrative revenue stream just waiting to be tapped!

(Ulterior motive: I'm hoping that relentless mocking of Sinyard and Specialized will get ME threatened with a cease-and-desist, so I can ride the resulting wave of social media goodwill to blogular fame and fortune. That's what a continuing education in content strategy will do for you...)