Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Inaugural LimpStrong Ride – Saturday, October 20

Okay, so it’s not really a ride per se, just me trying to chalk up my first century since (pauses, calculates, considers fudging the number in shame)… 1999. But since I’m notorious for letting myself weasel out of my own self-imposed goals (see also: coffee addiction, inability to eat sensible portions, Internet Surf Overload Disorder), I wanted to put this one out there for all three of my readers to see. Between that and a cutesy name, I figure I’m golden.

The event will commemorate six-plus months since I suffered a nasty femur fracture and had some pretty pricey titanium hardware installed. Hence, the LimpStrong Foundation for Femur Injury Awareness, a purely fictional organization devoted to proving that the femur-impaired can live normal lives and ride a bicycle 100 miles without sag support or helpful volunteers serving peanut butter sandwiches and Gatorade. That's right, folks, a solo, unsupported century. Heck, if I’m feeling particularly metric, I might tack on an extra 25 miles and call it a 200k!


Watch this space for LimpStrong training updates, and mock me if I don’t complete the ride. The threat of semi-public humiliation may be just what I need to get motivated.

(Disclaimer for Lance Armstrong’s lawyers: LimpStrong is a humorous parody which has no relation to the LiveStrong Foundation, intends to raise absolutely zero dollars, and should in no way be construed as an infringement on the LiveStrong trademark or all the wonderful work done by said foundation. Please find larger fish to fry and leave my silly little one-man goof to peter out all by itself. Note also that I can be bought… hook me up with the Chinese factory that cranks out those ubiquitous yellow rubber bands, have them make me just one titanium-colored “LimpStrong” bracelet – hold the lead paint, please – and that’s the last you’ll hear of this. Promise.)

4 comments:

scott clark said...

1999? And *you're* ashamed?

My last (and only) century was in 1983. So I don' wanna hear about it, capiche?

Looking forward to hearing about the ride....I'd like to work up to something similar. First "goal" is 100km, but we're not there yet.

Anonymous said...

Never have done the hundred myself, femur-fracture-recovered or otherwise, so I admire the effort in advance.

May you not suffer as you never suffered before!

Todd Van Campen, Lexington, KY.

Barrett said...

Two Snaps Up on this, Jason...you had me laughing for almost a straight minute.


- Barrett

john said...

Only $111 for a direct flight from PHX to DSM and some PTO to use. Never had a chance to ride my bike in corn country or whatever Des Moines is considered.