First, I didn't name it. That's my wife's work again. Apparently, like the singer of the same name, this bike wears black on the outside because black is how it feels on the inside.
This big brute followed us home from a vacation in Madison, Wisconsin*, and now that we've fed it, I don't think we'll ever be able to get rid of it. Underneath all that blackness is a Cannondale MT800 mountain tandem, pimped out touring-style by yours truly with slicks, fenders, racks and panniers.
*Tangent for owners of first-generation Honda CR-Vs: Big tandems just barely fit inside. Don't believe me? Try driving from Madison, WI to Des Moines, IA with a field-stripped twofer in there. Even with both wheels off and the bike upside down, I had a rear derailleur tickling my ear for the whole drive. Yes, we wanted this bike that much. And yes, that drive inspired the subsequent purchase of a roof rack.