Thursday, May 29, 2008

News Flash!

No, not for you non-media civilians. This one's a flash for the two mega-corporate entities that controlled 98.3% of all American news outlets at last count.

THIS JUST IN! If you report that gas prices hit a record high EVERY DAY, it is NO LONGER NEWS. You might as well start every newscast with this: "Our sources report that the sun rose in the east today. Experts predict it will set in the west."

Not that I mind watching a different version of the same interview with a different version of the same idiot every day. He's always pouring a tanker truck of X-plus-12 cents-per-gallon gas (where X=yesterday's "record high") down the maw of his Hummer, watching the numbers spin like a slot machine on crack, and stammering, "I just don't know what I'm gonna do if this keeps up. Sell a kidney, maybe? Or a kid? I already stopped feeding them!"

Ah, there's nothing quite like the smug, holier-than-thou vantage point of a guy whose primary vehicle runs on coffee and Cheerios, eh?

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