Happy Bionic Birthday To Me

I was doped on morphine and Valium at the time, but this is how I like to imagine the conversation among my doctors exactly two years ago today:

Jason Nunemaker. Bicyclist. A man barely alive.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology.
We have the capability to build the world's first bionic man.
Jason Nunemaker will be that man.
We can make him better than he was before.
Better.
Stronger.
Faster.

(Cue iconic trumpet theme here.)

Okay, so I'm not stronger or faster... but when I ride, it does sound like this.